Christianity Long Term Care Parkinson's

Losing It?

I am struggling to keep my sanity! I am so tired of being treated like a slobbering, bobbing, shaking idiot! The saga with Pierre and Graham is a case in point. They just don’t take me seriously. At first I told them what I knew. They did not listen to a word I had said. Then I wrote taking great pains to be clear. They may not have even read it, but they still did not accept that what I had written is worth discussing because an idiot had written it. Now I have no idea what they were thinking so I cannot really say this. When I think about it, I like them as persons. So why then am I not being heard?

By now I was very frustrated – I lamented to my friends and family (ff) that I thought it was a crime (an act that was against a law and subject to punishment). Fortunately I only thought it and not written it because when I wrote that I wanted to involve big guns, influential people I had worked with, they hesitated – to my horror I saw that even my ff were thinking just like the enemy. They were at least trying to be diplomatic. I am not really all there. Their advice was in fact very good. I shelved the carefully thought-out strategy, that I had worked on during many hours that I should have been sleeping, documented and each point from the Act quoted in full. That would do no good, they would not read it, no matter how carefully I worded it, they’d read it even less. My son advised me to capitulate, give in. They are never going to change their way of doing things.

So I ask myself if in their view I am a slobbering, bobbing, shaking idiot.

The book

But I know I am not. So I started writing a book, for the record, and for them, explaining what I knew and how I came to know it. Typing is very difficult and takes a lot out of me, but I persisted. In the end I had to give up, I just am not strong enough physically. So the book too has been scrapped. Some of the chapters will end up in the blog, I had spent too much time writing them. Not that it matters as nobody will read it anyway.

Oh, I did compose an email to Adrian to tell him about the Parkinson’s Video Society PVS, how much it would contribute the community, etc. Then suddenly it finally sank in. No matter how passionate I am about the Parkinson’s Video Society, how much I have demonstrated its value and potential. They won’t let me do it. Why not. I don’t really know. Let’s go with because I thought it up so it can’t be any good.

I could write that I’m planning to assassinate the King of Outer Mongolia, or at least his character, tomorrow at noon, it would not matter when no one reads it.

More Writing

I will keep on writing my blog, because that was one of the main reasons I started it. In fact, I hope you will see more writing. As therapy, as a tool for capturing my thoughts as I face the awful time I know to be coming. So you will see less of me explaining, justifying – there is no need for that for Father knows all about it / me.

As it is early morning, just gone 2:13 and I am in this reflective state, and wondering what Father expects of me. It became clear to me what he wanted me to do. So now, while I still had the understanding clear, I want to say goodbye formally to PVS, my brainchild that I had nurtured and passionately loved!

Would Father want to use the PVS in the Kingdom? He has not said anything yet, although he encouraged me in the beginning when the concept started taking shape. I am beginning to understand that the technology that we are using everywhere is costing us too much – not just moneywise, but also in damage to the environment. But the big cost is how Satan could exploit technology to pervert our thinking to his way. I know it is not popular today to believe in a being called Satan. They think of him in terms of a little red cartoon-like character with a pitch fork and a tail with an arrow head at the end. It is a cute enough image to have in mind but it obviously is not real i.e. Satan does not really exist. I wonder who inspired that cartoon image? He most certainly inspired Dante’s poetry and the false imagery it portrayed. But we know Satan to be an impressive being. Ezekiel, one of Father’s prophets, wrote:

“You were the seal of perfection,
Full of wisdom and perfect in beauty.
You were in Eden, the garden of God;
Every precious stone was your covering:
The sardius, topaz, and diamond,
Beryl, onyx, and jasper,
Sapphire, turquoise, and emerald with gold.
The workmanship of your timbrels and pipes
Was prepared for you on the day you were created.
You were the anointed cherub who covers” (Ezek 28)

He is called Satan which means the opposition, the adversary. So it is not his name, it his title, he is the leader of the opposition. But this reminded me of his project to build a mega city with a tower in the centre to honor him, the light bringer, Lucifer, his real original name. All Father had to do was to make it impossible to communicate and the project fell through!

Shame, I feel sorry for Satan, not in a have pity kind of a way, he is too great for that From what I had figured out it was going to be a great city, like what Nebuchadnezzar created much later! In a way, I have been a lot like him with my PVS project! Now that is quite something to admit. The PVS was going to be so good, but did I take the big picture into account? Did I do it out of love for us people as Father always does, or was I feeling I was creating something beautiful that would help people, I must make sure that people know I created it. So many I‘s say it all.

Yes, Father is so patient and wise in how he leads us to work it out for ourselves. That way whatever it is that you have to learn, it becomes our very way of thinking.

You might have missed this….
Satan has not forgotten the humiliation he felt when his megacity project failed. Humiliation, showing up our shortcomings, and it turns into bitterness and hatred and a desire for revenge – and often to irrational acts like kicking the cat when you have just put a ladder in your last pair of nylons.

So Satan remembers it well and he is going to try again. He has observed how Father does things and now thinks he can do better. But he is wise enough to try things out first. He guided and inspired his team of people to develop Google Translate, he then brought in many foreign workers to come and build the mega hotels and sports complexes in the middle of nowhere, at huge expense, never to be used again.

But the banks giving the loans are using our (ordinary people) money. And when these properties are no longer useful, it would mean we paid for it.

There are so many uses of technology on display everywhere:

“The use of Technology in FIFA’s World Cup: VAR and Beyond The Video Assistant Referee (VAR), was the biggest technological innovation in World Cup …” (

What caught my eye was the use of Google Translate software in the marketing to encourage foreign workers to consider this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity! Language is no longer an issue. We have the most powerful cellphone service in the world, you will have access to Google Translate 24/7!

We know where you are from, and we”ve got you covered!

Satan was really pulling out the stops, people marveled at the glittering array of technology on display everywhere. Satan has built a team of expats, each an expert at some application of technology or the other, supported by a hardworking, educated, desperate for money cohort of foreign workers. Their assignment? To build and showcase applications of technology, no matter how outlandish – just make them shine!

Petronas Tower

What was the incentive? We are building mega cities like the world has never seen before!

Of course towers are part of what still irks him. So we see the tallest going up where really there is no need for it – it is just these developing nations showing the can do it. They are certainly have done impressive things.

For example the Petronas Towers in Kuala Lampur. The Petronas Twin Towers, the tallest twin towers in the world, are the tallest buildings in Kuala Lumpur. These twin skyscrapers are each 1,483 feet high and have 88 floors. Tour guides will always stress tA standout feature was that each tower was built by different contractors, one Japanese and one Korean – language is no longer a barrier.

Is that enough? No, more concepts to try.

Burj KhalifaDubai
Merdeka 118Kuala Lumpur

Shanghai Tower
Kuala Lumpur

Abraj Al-Bait Clock Tower

Tallest Buildings

And big cities are being tried everywhere:
Saudi Arabia is building 100-Mile-Long “Linear” City stretching from the mountains to the Red Sea, “the Line” anchors the kingdom’s $500 billion green city, Neom

So you think these projects are impressive. I do. If time permits I will write about the advances in the technology used in these these projects. But I believe we will see even more spectacular projects!

The diversion is useful to take one’s mind off your own problems, knowing that there are things of much larger scope and import going on. That you are not the only person struggling with issues. So I ask again, am I losing it? Or have I already lost it? No definitely not. They will continue to not take me seriously! If I stop trying to explain so much I will just be slobbering, bobbing and shaking person with Parkinson’s! I can live that…